When Booboos Become Heartaches
by Lunatic Silver
Summary: He always thought when things got this heavy, Mom would be there to kiss the hurt and make it better. Even if she was there, he knows it still wouldn't be that simple.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own _The Vampire Diaries_ nor its characters. They belong to L.J. Smith, Kevin Williamson, Julie Plec, The CW Network, and whoever else.

**Note/Warning:** I am aware that the title is incredibly cheesy. Hopefully the story is not - but I always liked how Jenna got along with Anna, and I was kind of sad that she never brings Anna's absence up. Set right after 3x02.

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><p><strong>When Booboos Become Heartaches<strong>

Jeremy Gilbert stares at Jonathan Gilbert's journal, at the extra, crudely fashioned stake lying next to it (the one he planns to sleep with in case Katherine comes back). He stares and stares until bile rises up in his throat. His eyes are burning, and he thinks he's going to hurl - so he grabs the stake and rushes to his bed, stuffing it under his pillows. And then he's back at his desk, journal in hand, and he wants to rip the pages out - all the ones with the names Pearl and Annabelle and demons and vampires.

But this is a link to his past. A link to his father. (And he almost starts to gag.)

It's not fair. It's not fair that Anna's gone, but Damon's still there. But Jeremy won't even reconsider staking the bastard again, because he can't be like John. He _won't_ be like John. It's not fair that he wants to talk to Damon because Damon knew Anna better than anyone else left in town, and it's not fair that Elena thinks she can keep him from being involved.

(Does she want him to become like John?)

So he tosses the journal back onto the desk and walks over to plop down on the end of his bed. He swallows and remembers all the things that happened there - Vicki sick and sketchy, searching for reasons to make Anna turn him, the times he and Anna...he can't. Jeremy clenches his eyes shut and just stops. He stops thinking of Anna and Vicki, of his parents, of John and Damon, of Elena lying and shutting him out. He just stops, because the hurting only gets worse.

There's no going back to normal life after this. Normal life was hell for him before, it'll be hell for him again. He can't pretend everything's okay unless he has a way to keep busy so he never gets the time to remember everything's not okay.

Screw what Elena wants. Jeremy's involved.

(He'll find ways to take out his anger and let the Gilbert hunter bloodline out somehow.)

There's a knock on the door, and Jeremy literally jumps. His heart skips a beat. He can't help but roll his eyes at himself before calling out, "It's open." He hopes it's not Elena, that she doesn't know about his abandoned attempt to kill Damon and is ready with a brand new lecture about the same damn things.

Instead it's Jenna, cautiously taking a step into his room. The look on her face tells Jeremy this is one of those 'talk' moments with a purpose. She always looks about as thrilled as he feels. "Hey, Jeremy."

"Aunt Jenna." He hates being abrupt, but he's just not in the mood right now.

"Look, I just wanted to see if you were okay. I know a lot's gone on, and things have been...extra crazy." She takes a breath and looks around the room, and Jeremy kind of smiles at how awkward she still is with acting parental around him. She steps further into the room. "I also, well - I know you and Vicki were very...close before she died. I thought giving you space after she was found was the best thing to do. And then you seemed to be moving on."

Jeremy's gut twists into knots because he knows what's coming. He wants to stop her, tell her not to say anymore, not to say her name - but he just sits there. Frozen.

"It'd be hard not to notice where things with you and Anna were going. And then it just kind of, stopped. I haven't seen her for a week, and I know you were really worried about her a few days ago." Jenna tucks some of her hair back, and looks absolutely lost - and Jeremy's doing all he can not to shake a little or get teary eyed again - and then finally spits out, "Did something happen to Anna? Are you okay?"

Lie. He has to lie. To Aunt Jenna. About Anna. About everything. Jeremy doesn't want to. He wants to tell her everything. He wants to pretend for a moment that she's his mom, whom he told everything (even his crush on Vicki), and who always understood (even his crush on Vicki). He wants to go over and cling to her and cry, and let her stroke his hair and tell him everything will work out in the end. He just has to be strong.

But he has to be strong now, without the crying and the hugging and the acting like a fourteen year old when he's almost sixteen.

"Yeah, uh, everything's okay, Aunt Jenna," he finally gets out. He sounds hoarse and shaky - he used to be a much better liar, didn't he? "Something was going on with Anna and her mom, and she wasn't able to get to her phone. But she and her mom-"

Died.

" - moved." He almost chokes on the word.

Jenna blinks. For a moment it doesn't seem like she's buying it, but then she walks over and sits next to him. "Oh. Well, thank goodness it wasn't worse. I was afraid, well...after the disaster Founders' Night turned into, I was afraid something horrible happened to them too."

"Yeah," is all he's able to get out. He clenches his hands into fists and moves them so that Jenna won't notice. The nausea from earlier is back. But he swallows it down and continues. "Another opportunity come up for her mom, and since it didn't look like things were going to work out here, they left."

"I'm really sorry, Jeremy," Jenna whispers and squeezes his shoulder. "I don't know why your uncle had to be a prick to them, but that's what he's like. She seemed like a really sweet girl, I liked her," she tells him, making the urge to cling to her like his five again even harder to resist. "But it's not like it's final, you know? Especially these days," she adds, gesturing to the computer. "You've got instant messenging and e-mail and cell phones - it's not like the old days where you only had a landline and the postal service." She laughs, a little forced, but she's trying.

And it's killing him. He smiles back though. He knows his eyes are watery, but he just doesn't care anymore. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I just, I'd rather not talk about it. If that's okay."

Jenna briefly looks wounded and worried that this means she's failing, but then she takes a breath, nods, and smiles. "Absolutely. I rarely wanted to talk about my heartaches right away either. Just remember that you can talk to me, okay? I've gone through plenty of bad break-ups and sad goodbyes. I'm kind of the mistress of it in this town," she adds with a sigh.

Jeremy wraps an arm around her. He wishes so badly she was his mother right now - but then he wonders if his mother hated vampires too. Jeremy thinks maybe it's better that this is Jenna, not his mother who might not have understood his feelings for Anna. "I think I'm taking after you, unfortunately."

"Oh, geez. Don't think that negatively, Jer." Jenna hugs him and smiles. She stares at him like she wants to ask him more, find a way to make him open up to her, find a way to be more like his mom in this moment. But then she stands up. "Okay, so, to be clear - I'm here. If you need to talk."

"Okay. Thanks." He smiles back at her and stays seated and waits for her to finally leave. The moment the door is shut he breaks down, because he just wants his mother (and father and Vicki and Anna) back.


End file.
